How To Change in Marriage | Fix Your Relationship & Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome

How To Change in Marriage | Fix Your Relationship & Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome

My wife, Morgan Day Cecil, and I recently recorded this video together. With 14 years of marriage behind us and over two decades of asking, "What does it take to be free?" in our adult lives, we're here to discuss how to change within the confines and gifts of marriage. We've noticed a common trend in relationships – they start with passion and evolve into something different. But change is possible; we're here to guide you through it.

So, to keep it simple, you can watch the video above, but follow along without four steps and make sure to write them down.

**1. Facing the Facts:**

Change often begins when you acknowledge that something isn't working in your relationship. We call it the "State of the Union Address." Start by assessing what's working and what's not. Recognize the need for change and ask yourself, "What happens if we do nothing?"

**2. Taking Supremely Good Care of the Basics:**

Your marriage might be struggling due to a lack of self-care. Consider whether you're living too much in your head or numbing yourself. Signs include stress, poor sleep, and a lack of connection. To change, prioritize taking care of your body, including better sleep, healthier eating, and reducing stimulants.

**3. Drop the Resentment:**

Let go of the idea that your partner owes you something. Resentment can be toxic to a relationship. Understand that your partner can't always understand your feelings and that they're doing their best with the tools they have.

**4. Pursue What Lights You Up:**

The desire to change often arises from a longing for fulfillment at a soul level. Rediscover what brings you joy. For men, spend time with other men and engage in activities that rekindle your passions. For women, reconnect with childhood interests. Pursue dreams that light you up as a couple, as a team.

**Conclusion:**

Remember, the purpose of a relationship isn't just comfort and happiness; it's companionship over the long haul and becoming fully who you are. Marriage can be a crucible, a place of high pressure and intense heat that refines you. By working through challenges, you can achieve a better relationship and a deeper connection. Change is possible, and it's worth it.