How I Transformed My Marriage (And How You Can Too)
No shame, brother. I’ve been there.
My wife and I just celebrated an incredibly romantic weekend in the Pyrenees for my 45th birthday—dining at a Michelin-starred restaurant, reflecting on nearly 17 years of marriage, and feeling more connected than ever.
We’re best friends, lovers, parents, business partners, and more. Every year, our love grows stronger.
But it wasn’t always this way.
From Divorce and Anxiety to a Thriving Marriage
I wasn’t supposed to have a successful marriage.
My parents, grandparents, and extended family have all been divorced—dozens of times.
My father left when I was three.
I’m at least the third generation of men in my family to struggle with abandonment and failed relationships.
I was anxiously attached and didn’t even realize it.
My wife? A classic avoidant—but only when I got clingy.
I didn’t understand the hidden forces that shaped our relationship: my past, my unmet wounds, my nervous system reacting in ways I couldn’t control.
It nearly tore us apart. I felt so much shame.
The Turning Point: Learning How Real Change Works
That was 15 years ago.
I had two choices:
Repeat the cycle of failed relationships that had plagued my family.
Figure out what it actually takes to build a lasting, connected, and fun marriage.
I chose the second.
I took my background in theology and psychology and made it my life’s work to understand two things:
✅ How a person actually changes (so you don’t stay stuck).
✅ What it takes to build a strong, loving, and passionate marriage.
And here’s what I learned:
If I can change, you can too.
If I can rewire my nervous system, you can too.
If I can step into my masculine leadership so my wife can rest in her femininity, you can too.
Breaking Free from Your Childhood Programming
A healthy marriage isn’t about luck—it’s about rewiring your patterns.
Here’s the real secret:
Every time you feel anxious, every time you sense rejection, your nervous system is lying to you.
👉 It’s telling you you’re unsafe, when you’re actually fine.
👉 It’s making you react with fear, when you should be leading with confidence.
👉 It’s keeping you stuck in old wounds, when your future could be completely different.
The solution? Catch the lie, then act differently.
That’s it.
It’s so simple it sounds silly, but this one shift changes everything.
When you stop acting out of old wounds, you start leading from a new center of strength.
How to Start Leading Your Marriage
Since 2015, I’ve worked with business owners, senior engineers, lawyers, founders, and other high-achieving men who struggle with the same thing:
❌ Their Nice Guy conditioning is killing attraction.
❌ Their anxious attachment is making them reactive.
❌ They feel trapped in a push-pull dynamic with their wife.
And every single time, I take them through the same three-step process to break free.
By the end of our work together, they’re leading their marriages, regaining attraction, and feeling more grounded and confident than ever before.
You can do this too.
Ready to Lead? Here’s Your Next Step
📩 Download the Free PDF: Get my exact system for healing Nice Guy Syndrome and leading your marriage with confidence. → Click here
📅 Book a 1:1 Call: Let’s talk about your specific situation and build a game plan. → Schedule a call here
🔥 Fix Your Codependency Fast: If you're serious about deep transformation, my fast-track course will help you break the cycle. → Get the course here
No shame, bro. 😎
We just celebrated an incredibly romantic weekend in the Pyrenees for my 45th, dining at a Michelin-starred restaurant and celebrating nearly 17 years together. We’re best friends, lovers, parents to our children, business partners, and so much more.
Every year, our love grows stronger. But it wasn’t always this way.
I was married and divorced before. My parents, grandparents, and extended family members have all been divorced—dozens of times. My father left us when I was three. I’m at least the third generation to experience this. My unconscious fear of abandonment made me anxiously attached.
My wife was a classic avoidant—but only when I got clingy. My lack of understanding about healthy relationships, my past, and our hidden wounds brought us to the edge. I felt so much shame.
That was 15 years ago. I took my background in theology and psychology and made it my life’s work to learn two things:
1) How a person can actually change.
2) What it takes to have a healthy, fun, loving, and connected marriage.
If I can change, you can too. If I can heal my childhood programming, learn to lead from my masculine center, and allow my wife to rest in her femininity, so can you. It’s actually simpler than you think, but it does take practice—and you can’t take your foot off the gas.
All you have to do is reset your childhood programming by noticing when your nervous system begins to lie to you (that’s why you’re anxious), and then, in the face of that feeling, choose to act differently. It’s so simple it sounds almost silly, but it’s a proven way to make lasting change.
Since 2015, I’ve been helping business owners, senior engineers, lawyers, founders, and other high-achieving men use a three-step system to heal their anxious attachment, lead their wives, and repair their marriages. You can do this.
